LeMons 2010

Since I don't plan to attend next year, the other guys are free to run wild with the theme.

Kevin wants to take the Gulf Oil livery thing further, with a transporter and 70's hair.

Dr. Jared (son-of-Rod) wants to dress like a doctor, while everyone else dresses like tele-tubbies. The car would be dressed like Noo-noo.

Another Update from Captain Vogler

Again, Captain Vogler fills in the blanks, while I concentrate on selling automotive tooling in an attempt to turn around the economy:

• All light switches have been installed – most of the lights work. I will troubleshoot tomorrow. (I think Kevin planned on all the lights working)
• Marty Reckker came over and confirmed that in fact the kill switch wiring was right all along. Marty used to build alternators at Ford and it was the alternator connection to the kill switch that was giving Dave concerns.
• Dave finished the rear brakes – hopefully they only work when we want them to work. (the brakes seem a bit tight - I have asked Kevin to put some miles on the car today)
• Picked up backup upper and lower radiator hoses today. (note skillfull use of "up" 3 times in this sentence)
• Started installing the rear light assemblies on the Kalis Beam. (Kevin is convinced that adding "lights" will make the Kalis beam weigh less)
• The car still runs!

We have five ‘must haves’ to complete:

• Bracket over repaired gas line
• Drain coolant and replace with only water
• Install Ranger battery
• Paint # 20 on roof
• Finish rear brake lights
• Finish testing all lights

Updates from Captain Vogler

In a blatant attempt to keep people from voting for him in the "who will park the car last" poll, the senior team member has been sending out what appear to be factual updates on a nightly basis. I will publish these here:
Adeline and Olivia touched up the car with a Picasso style paint job. The number ‘20’ on the roof is ½ complete.
The Kalis Beam was installed between the rear shock towers. We will put the OEM tail lights on the beam. This way the lights will be protected from damage when Eric drives too slow and people rear end him.
The hatchback/liftgate was removed. With the Kalis Beam in place we should not need the liftgate’s structural benefits (if there were any) and removing the liftgate significantly improves rear visibility.
We realized we have a new problem – we have no rear driving lights. When we removed the light switches with the old steering column last year we also removed the ability to turn on all the driving lights. The rear lights will have to be tied into the front low beam power.
Dave finished replacing the rear left brakes and is almost done with the rear right brakes.
The fire extinguisher and mounting bracket was installed in the car.
Tonight we are having a special guest appearance by Marty Reckker. Marty built alternators for years and hopefully can shed some light on how we wire the kill switch and allow the battery to charge at the same time without frying the alternator.
And how could I forget – Eric took a die grinder and removed the right door inner panel for a phenomenal weight savings of 3.4 ounces. Somehow he created mass from nothing, since he left about 5 pounds of metal filings on the garage floor.
Yoda Pug flies in on Tuesday. I’m sure he will know how to wire the kill switch if we haven’t figured it out by then.
Brian flies in on Thursday, just in time to sign some autographs and hit the track.

Accomplishments

Last night felt somewhat productive.

Eric brought the Rear Strut Brace that he had fabbed up out of scrap iron from a WWII battleship. It is not as heavy as it looks in the pictures, two people can easily lift it. Unfortunately, the car had shrunk some since the measurement were taken, so it has to go to DRE today for alteration (thanks Dr. Vogler).

The new wheels and tires are on, and they look strong. hopefully they will not rub.

The oil and filter are changed. Eric and I tried real hard to keep the floor clean.

A rear view mirror (borrowed from the author's daughter) was installed.

Captain Vogler has almost completed wiring of the flux capacitor (err, headlamps) onto the hood. His dad was really proud, when he saw what a nice job he had done.

We left the garage looking much more proper than we found it, with oil and gas puddled on the floor, a pile of rust from the rear brakes on the hoist, and a cloud of Garcia y Vega's on the ceiling.

Wisdom from the Rocket Scientist

The Sixth Driver

The team is pleased to announce driver number six - Parnelli Yoda Pug.

The famous mountaineer, and race car driver said he is "very excited at the chance to compete at Nelson Ledges.  You know, motor racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports ... the rest are just games."

We asked whether he felt the Escort would have enough horsepower for him.  "When I can leave two black stripes from the exit of one corner, to the braking zone for the next, then I will have enough horsepower."

Communication

"In-car" to "pit" communications have been identified as a #2 priority this year (right between brakes and a new fan belt). Last year this was accomplished by the use of hand signals made using various fingers. I recall last year trying to communicate that I thought the lug nuts were loose, but every time I gave what I felt was the signal for this, I got the same signal back from the other side of the pit wall.
Captain Vogler sent out this proposal this morning ... sort of made my head hurt.
"We have two cheap com sets. The driver’s ear buds and pit mic are one radio set and that one can be turned off and on since the pit can use their hands. The driver’s mic and a speaker in the pit are on another radio and are always left ‘on’."
I am proposing a simpler system. Jared's naval experience should make him fluent. The first message is from the car, the second is a response from the pit.

All, my, friends, love a lowrider

The front of the car is now nearly an inch lower than it used to be thanks to some high tech clamps pinching together two loops of each coil spring. We are thinking of leaving the rear at its stock height, to gain from having the car traveling down hill.
Captain Vogler used some plastic polishing compound he found at the "As Seen On TV" store, and now years of pent up light are flooding out through our headlamp lenses like pairs of animals leaving the ark. Also, we found that the car still runs.

Saber Rattling

It is transparent to most of you, but a three way e-mail cat fight has erupted disputing the relative merits of wheel diameter, beer supply, and exhaust pipe length. Me thinks we should be in for a lively evening in the garage on Spruce Hill.

A fire is lit under Eric and Dave

This morning, Captain Vogler awoke from his deep slumber and noticed that we have to have the car ready and on a trailer in a little more than two weeks. The "to do" list is revised to assign more of the tasks to Dave and Eric. Kevin publishes his schedule so that we can work around it.
Tuesday 9/16 Available
Wednesday 9/17 Available
Thursday – sewing club
Friday - busy
Saturday 9/19– here all day until about 9am, then golfing
Sunday 9/20– here all day, after I get back from brunch
Monday 9/21 – available
Tuesday 9/22 – swim meet
Wednesday 9/23 - available
Thursday 9/24 – sewing club again
Friday - busy

New Rookie Drivers

Following months of prodding by their overbearing older brother, we have two new drivers on the team. Craig still holds the upper peninsula speed record for an Opel GT. Jared once built a 1/24 scale Tamiya model of a 6-wheel Tyrrel P34.
Anticipation grows, as the media speculates about the 6th driver. Schumacher can't join because of his neck injury. Ferrari picked up Giancarlo Fisichella, possibly making Luca Badoer available?

Wrenches are Turned in Anger

Captain Vogler finally invited us over to work on the car this weekend. Eric and I jumped at the chance. What fun it would be to spill crap all over his royal blue with sky blue flakes epoxy floor! Papa Vogler even stuck around, though I think he was hoping for more of a brawl.
We put the hoist up and down, and up and down, and rolled the car forward, and moved the hoist up and down. Then Kevin made up his annual list of things for me and Eric to do. Kevin hid the rest of the beer, so we left.

Bench Racing

Five weeks have elapsed since our entry was approved for the 2009 Lemons race. In that time we have accomplished nothing. We have discussed getting 200 hp from an Escort engine with 1.9 tired litres. I had a great idea about hooking a leaf blower up to the intake, but learned that some other idiot had the same idea, tried, and failed. Eric wants more leg room. Kevin spent a lot of effort proving that I was wrong about shaving the tires. Unfortunately, his findings agreed with my hypothesis.

YEAR TWO

We have been accepted to compete in the 2009 running of the 24 Hours of LeMons - this year at Nelson Ledges Race Course in Ohio. To avoid prancing around in nomex underwear like the rest of the boys, I have elected to participate as a crew member (at-large), rather than a "driver". This will release me from any of the feelings of anxiety and self preservation that led me to agree to "quitting" last year because of the fuel leak. This year, I can provide much needed encouragement to the drivers, like "Get back out there dammit, it's just a little fuel leak. What are you, a scaredy-cat?"